What I have learned as a first time Mommy...

For my first "official" post(WooHoo!), I wanted to share a few things that are on my mind and have learned since I have become a Mommy. I am by no means a "baby expert" or "baby charmer", but this whole experience has taught me soooooo much and I feel as though even though I don't know everything, I know more than I did and I continue to learn every day along this journey. I have grown so much in the last 2 months and I  honestly cannot even remember my life before Noah. He has given meaning to my existence and is the piece that makes our family whole. He is the anchor that holds me together and whenever his tiny fingers wrap around mine and looks up at me, I honestly have to catch my breath. Thats just how perfect it is. You never quite know how much love you can have for someone, until you hold that small little bundle in your arms for the first time. In that moment, your whole world stops and you are entranced as you stare at that perfect little miracle that you hold on your chest close to your heart. In that moment, all the sleepless nights, kicks in the ribs, shortness of breath, swollen kankles, and inability to last 30 min without having to pee are worth it. Ok so enough of my rambling, on to the good stuff, the stuff I am actually wanting this post to be about:

What I've learned(in no particular order lol):

1.  Let it be- Anyone who knows me knows I am an organized neat freak. My house is always clean and picked up. When people come over my house they always comment it is "so clean" and "always smells like Yankee Candle" and well thats how it is all the time. Everything has its own place and  you probably can run a white glove over surfaces in my house and it comes out clean.  Thats just how I am and have always been and well I thought that would never change. Of course my husband just loves me for it. Since I have became a Mommy Ive learned to just "let it be", meaning who cares what my house looks like anymore. If I have 5 burp rags on the floor, a weeks worth of dishes in the sink, baby items strewn everywhere in places I could trip,  and laundry that hasn't been done in 2 weeks I dont care. At the end of the day, Noah could care less what my house looks like. He could care less if the pictures on the wall are hung perfectly or the cabinets remain organized. He could care less if I dont do my "Cleaning ritual" that I do every thursday.  Its thursday right now and I havent cleaned, dusted in 2 weeks or swiffered my floors or vacuumed which is completely out of the norm for me as these are things I do weekly. At the end of the day, my focus is on him and his needs and some things just have to go to the wayside like my household chores and I have had to learn to just let it go. I can go 2 weeks without my thorough house cleaning, right?!?

2. Relationships change- I have also learned through being a Mom that you will grow apart from people(friends in some instances) for the simple fact that you may no longer have things in common with them. When you have a baby, naturally you are drawn to other people who have kids because you have something in common. I had a friend that I was very close to that we grew apart after she had a baby. For a while, I was upset with her, but after having Noah I realized exactly how she felt when she was going through the changes of becoming a Mom and really realizing what relationships with friends were worth keeping and which would require more effort. I am glad that now our friendship has taken off again because now we do have things in common again.   I am also thankful for those  that have been there every step of the way through pregnancy and have remained close even after Noah was born(Shoutouts to my relatives, church family, Parents, Inlaws, Amy Crites, Amy Carlineo, Brandy Jones, Megan Loucks and Bethany Jordan). You learn to distance yourself from those who are filled with "drama" and in the end that means letting go of those friendships.  It may hurt to let them go but in the end, you are a better person. I am happy with those in my life right now. I'm thankful that I am fostering friendships and relationships with people that I want to be in my son's life. Those that have chosen to stick around even after this new journey has started for me as being a new mom are the ones I want to call friends.

3. Advice vs. Opinion- As a new Mommy, you get tons of advice as well as opinions. You learn to listen to the advice but chose carefully when you listen to opinions because sometimes opinions can belittle you. When someone gives me an opinion, sometimes it causes me to question myself and decisions for my child. I had someone tell me I was "dumb" for deciding to not take my baby out in public for a few weeks after he was born and that "I cant keep my child in bubble".  I was also told that I need to stop being a "Germophobic overprotective mother" because I asked someone to wash their hands before holding my baby. That kind of hurt even though it was said in a completely nice way. I dont need that person's judgement or opinion. Honestly at the end of the day, I am my childs mother and I know what is best for him and if I didnt want to take him into a crowded mall, store, etc for a few weeks that was my choice. If I want people to wash their grimy hands before touching my child thats my choice. I don't need anyones approval and don't have to answer to anyone. What you chose to do as a Mom is your decision. Yeah, you will make mistakes along the way as your learning. I know I have made mistakes but I know that I have learned from them and won't do them again.  Its nice to hear other Moms share techniques that have worked for them and I love learning from other Moms. I have some Mommy friends that I look to as mentors as well. I've just learned to steer clear of opinions and take them with "a grain of salt".  Eleanor Roosevelt said that "Noone should make you feel inferior without your consent" which in this case I've learned to not let peoples opinions or criticism make me feel as if I am not doing a good job as a mother. At  the end of the day, the most important critic to how good of a mother I am is my sons and believe me if Im not doing a good job he will let me know lol

4. I Will or Wont do that!-  I get tired of people saying "When I become a mom I will or wont do that".  Honestly it makes me laugh because the exact things you say you wont do, you end up doing. Sorry but its the truth. There are plenty of things I said that I would not do but I have already done some of those things. Good thing the only person who knew about those things I said I wouldn't do and have done is my hubby and he hasn't called me out on them yet. I said I would never let my baby be a co-sleeper but he slept in our bed in his little bassinet til he was a month old and now he sleeps in a bassinet in our room because we havent fought the battle yet of trying him in his own crib at night.  I said I would never ever change my baby's diaper in a bathroom in a store and well I've changed diapers in Sears, Kohl's and Target. I said I would still be close with certain friends after Noah arrived but I'm not close with them anymore for various reasons.  You make these things in your head that you will or won't do and you do them anyway so just save yourself the heartache and don't make opinions on what you will or won't do. It makes it less disappointing when you actually do what you swore you wouldn't do

In conclusion, I want to include some advice from a good friend/mentor/coworker of mine Megan Loucks.  When I was pregnant and constantly worried about the kind of mother I would be, she would always remind me that "as long as I give my baby lots of love nothing else matters." Yeah I have made mistakes and will continue to and thats part of being a good Mother. As long as I love him above all else and all things are done out of love thats all that matters. All things considered, my little guy thinks I am perfect and flawless(if he only knew) and relies on me for love, comfort, safety and to meet his needs and ultimately that is what is most important to me. That is my priority above all else. He is teaching me sooooooo much and each day I look forward to learning more from him. 


Tomorrows Topic: Those Baby items I couldn't live without these past few weeks!